Pizza Making

We recently started a "make your own pizza" night at the Walker House. Andrew LOVES it and we have a great time too. It's a cheap, fun way to have good family time. And, the pizza is actually very good. Here are some pics from our last Pizza Night.

Brushing the Crust down with oil.

Applying the Sauce

Andrew Cutting The Pizza

Jeff Helping A Bit To Get The Cut All The Way Through The Crust

 

Andrew's Pizza Masterpiece

The Meds...

From start to finish, the entire IVF process is about 8 weeks long. We had to wait until my time of the month for February before the 8 week process could begin. Once that happened, I made a phone call to the doctor and we were off to the races. I was provided a calendar - which I rely on heavily.

To start,  I had to have several tests (sonograms, hormone levels, 9 vials of blood taken, etc... ). It was determined that I had a low AMH level. This is the Anti Mullerian Hormone - which is one way to determine my remaining egg reserve. The goal is to have an AMH level of over 1 and mine was .58. Couple this with Jeff's Male Factor and we felt even more certain about our decision to move forward with IVF over the Vericocele surgery. 

Next - I had to get on the pill. Counter-productive... I know. But, the goal is to be able to control when I would have my next period so that the calendar would work out as needed. To say that this is a precise science is an extreme understatement. So, for 3 weeks I took the pill along with Pre-natal vitamins. Jeff and I both started a round of a general antibiotic to "clear out" any infections or illnesses so that we start this process as healthy as possible.

Then came the delivery. The meds were delivered to me in a big box. It was packed with syringes, medicines, a cooler with more medicine and the biggest dose of Anxiety I'd had about this process to date. I carefully placed all the medicines together and wiped the big tears from my eyes. It was finally sinking in that this was real.

I have a tendency to get tunnel focused about things that I set my mind to. I don't pay much attention to the emotion or the fallout that is associated - I just work to achieve the goal. This can be a detriment to me, and on Med-Delivery day, I got my wake-up call. This was going to be very challenging - on my body, on my emotions, on my relationships - on everything. But, there was no turning back. I kept repeating - "The end justifies the means."

The End Justifies The Means...

After 2 weeks on the pill, the general antibiotic and pre-natals, I am due to take my first injection, Lupron. I take a quick tutorial from the nurse and head home thinking this first shot will be a piece of cake. The next morning, I prepare everything as instructed and all that is left is actually putting this needle in to my gut. Actually getting the courage to stick myself (on purpose) with a needle took another 10 minutes. Turns out - it did not hurt much at all... so all Lupron shots since then have been easy.

As of today, I've been on Lupron for 13 days. I've gained 3 pounds, my joints ache, I have night-sweats and the absolute WORST headaches every.single.day.  But, emotional fallouts are at zero and I have only cried once while watching a sad movie. So, I think things could be much worse.

So, as of the end of last week, the pill and the general antibiotic are done. I'm taking pre-natals daily along with my morning Lupron shot. My time of the month came again - which signified the time to start stimulating my ovaries to produce more eggs. I go to another dr. appointment where they do another sonogram and take another vial of blood. They are making sure my ovaries are clean, my iron and other levels are ok. Everything looks good and we are approved to move forward with the next step. She informs me that my daily shot routine will go from 1 shot to 4. I had in my mind that we were going from 1 to 2. I did not handle this news as well as I could have but did avoid crying in their office - so that's a win in my book.

In the mornings, I inject .05 Lupron and 225 IU of Follistim. 12 hours later, I inject 75 IU of Follistim and 1 vial of Menopur (burns - have to numb my skin with ice before I inject). I'm on day 2 of this process. So far, I gained a pound overnight and have been quite miserable from the continued headaches. My expectations are to get as bloated as Violet from Charlie & The Chocolate Factory.

My appointments for the next week are Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Monday. I only need to go in and get my blood drawn and a quick sonogram. We have to monitor all of my levels carefully to make sure that my body is responding as needed to these drugs. We are also watching to see when all of these stimulated eggs will be ready to retrieve.

Expectations for now are that I will have the retrieval done around March 14th. The eggs will be fertilized with Jeff's sperm that day and then will be transferred back to my uterus around 3 to 5 days later - depending on their progress. Only 2 embryos will be transferred back and the rest of the viable ones will be frozen for a second round if needed.

For now, I feel hopeful. I feel confident that we will be able to expand our family and it remains my top priority. This was definitely not part of our plan, but necessary nonetheless. We are handling things the best that we can and I will continue to document the process as we experience it.

The Next Step For Our Family

It's been a while since I've put much in writing about life around here. Things are fine, we remain blessed and lots of wonderful things have happened. However, additional challenges take over my mind often and when it comes to documenting things - I tend to stay away from those areas.

That being said, I decided that it is best to "journal" this latest process that we are going through. This blog is not read by many people so I feel confident that this will remain a relatively private outlet that we can look back on over the years. In addition, I've never been a "closed book" on my private life - If I put it here, I'm clearly ok with people being aware of what is occurring. So, here goes...

We are infertile.

Having a child naturally previously would lead you to believe that we are actually fertile. The bottom line is that Andrew was a bit of a miracle child.

In the fertility world, there are 2 separate distinctions when it comes to having sex. The first is "not preventing pregnancy" and the second is actively trying.. Before we conceived Andrew, we spent 2.5 years either not preventing or actively trying to get pregnant. We knew then that there were issues but we were not prepared at that time to take drastic measures to get pregnant. Surgery for Jeff and a few"double checking" procedures for me were recommended. That was a hard pill to swallow and we decided to take a little break. Voila - we got pregnant 3 months later!

The thing is - once you can get pregnant on your own, it is very easy to fool yourself in to thinking that it is only a matter of time before you get pregnant again.

We have been "not preventing pregnancy" since Andrew was 3 months old and ACTIVELY trying to conceive for over a year. Andrew is now almost 3.5 years old. A month before Andrew turned 3, we decided the time had come to get the doctors involved again.

Our first step was to a male fertility doctor for an updated SA (Semen Analysis). The problems from before were still there. High count but a high morphology and low motility rate. We had what the RE (reproductive endocrinologists) Doctors label MF - Male Factor. Our options were:

1. ICSI IVF - 50%-60% success rate
2. Vericocele Repair Surgery - Possible 70% success rate to repair the vericocele (picture vericose veins causing problems). If the surgery was successful and the repair worked, we would be back in to the "normal" couples probability which is 85-90% chance of getting pregnant when not-preventing-pregnancy over a year's time. The catch though was this - 70% success rate was only if the Vericocele was not genetic. There was no way to know for sure if it was a genetic issue unless you did the surgery and it did not work.  The time for the improvements to be seen in the quality of sperm could be as much as a year. At that point - I'll be 37 or 38...or as the doctors say...your EGGS are 37 or 38. Every year that my eggs age makes it more challenging for us to conceive naturally.

We decided that ICSI IVF was the route that we were going to explore. ICSI IVF is when the sperm is put in to a syringe and put directly in to the center of the egg. It is the best option when you have Male Factor issues. IUI (the "Turkey Baster") would likely not be effective nor would the traditional IVF where the egg and sperms hang out together in a pitre dish and hope that one makes its way in.

We made the decision in October that IVF was our path, but had to wait until January for full insurance coverage. Jeff graduated from Nursing School and was offered a full time RN job with Baylor so we knew our insurance coverage was going to be top-notch and worth waiting the extra months for it to take affect.

In January, we took the steps necessary to get approved by our insurance company to seek reproductive assistance. We met with 2 top-notch doctors in the Dallas area.  They were both similar in their message and protocols. Our final decision came down to out-of-pocket expense due to differing coverages for each doctor. We picked the doctor who worked through Baylor (Jeff's employer) and that has been a great decision so far. We are so blessed to be in one of the handful of states that requires insurance to assist with reproductive problems. Without insurance, this would cost us approximately $15,000 - just for the first try.

And so, we began this process.

Snow Day

We had snow on Christmas Day. It was absolutely beautiful and we were so excited for our White Christmas. The next day, we played in the snow. Here are some pics of my absolutely adorable child that I was able to capture while the boys were making snow balls.

Graduation!

4 years ago, we started a journey. Jeff was miserable in his job and was not fulfilled with his current career. He spent about 3 months doing some soul-searching and decided that becoming a nurse would fulfill his need to help people along with his desire for schedule flexibility. So, in December of 2008, he left his job in home sales and started school the next month. We worked very hard to figure out how we could live without his income. He was not able to work at all for the first year and only small amounts the rest of the time. He was in class full time and studying even more than that. He had several classes he needed to retake along with nursing school prerequisites. It would be 2 years of school before he would start the 2 year nursing school program.

Jeff's First Day of Nursing School

It was one of the hardest things we had to go through. It was rough on our marriage and rough on our pocketbook.  It was rough on him being in his late 30's and a college student. It was rough having to miss tons of time with his kiddo as well as with his friends because he had to study. But, he did not quit, did not take a break, did not hold off on finishing. No matter what - it remained the goal. We agreed to that and we would not back down on that mission.

As of December 14, 2012 - Jeffrey Lee Walker is a college graduate! He graduated with his nursing degree and will be working at Baylor Plano as an RN immediately. Holy Cow!!

Jeff's Graduation Ceremony

 He adores his job. He is thrilled to go to work and has a passion for his career that I wish I could find. It was the hardest and the best decision that he has ever made. Yet, this decision and his ability to finish the program will change the entire course of our lives - especially Andrew's.

We are thrilled!

3 Years Old!

My baby boy is 3 years old. I have no clue where the time has gone but it's been such a wonderful and fun experience. I am so excited to continue to watch him grow in to the person he is going to be.

My heart belongs to this little guy. He brings so much joy and balance to my life. He is as sweet as he looks and laughs all the time. He is an amazing little guy and I don't know what I did to deserve him, but I'm not letting him go.

 Granny and Pappy were in town for Thanksgiving and stayed a few days longer to celebrate his birthday with us. On the morning of his birthday, we let Andrew choose his breakfast. He, of course, chose McDonald's - not for the breakfast but for the huge indoor play area. He had a wonderful time. 

We decided to have a very small gathering for his birthday. Family and his best friend from school, Carter. His friendship with Carter is so unique and they are the best of buddies. We knew that having Carter at his birthday would make it perfect.

We had a small celebration at the house with cookie cake and presents. Then, the group piled in to cars and headed over to the Indoor Safari Park. Andrew and Carter ran around like crazy kids jumping from one event to the next. The adults watched patiently as these two wore themselves out.

Dad's and Boys Playing Air Hockey

He had the best time for his birthday. He was able to spend the day with Mommy, Daddy, Granny, Pappy, Mamaw, Aunt Jennifer and Mr. Brad along with Carter, Mr. Tim and Mrs. Ashley (Carter's parents).

Happy Birthday Andrew!

The Lawn Mower

Andrew made his desires quite clear when we arrived to my parent's house.

Yep, I'm riding this lawn mower. Start it now, let's do this!

 So, when the time came for my dad to cut the grass, Andrew was not taking kindly to being on the sidelines.

Pappy knew that Andrew wanted to ride on the lawn mower with him. And, as a good grandfather - he made sure that happened.

But, my parent's have a big yard and Pappy was getting worn out with Andrew on his lap. So he came up with a better idea...

Rough life.